Sorry about the last blog. It's cheesy and it's not flowing that well like the internship. Anyways it was days after Christmas and it was New Year. I've been hanging out with friends before New Year. Sarah, Lei, Christina, Steve, Wilson, Tekyi and Joel. Oh not to forget about Shahnas' brother wedding. That's all done. Wanted to hang out more but when family is concern, i have to stick with my mum. Not to say that I can't go out or that I can't drive. I CAN! Just that, I feel obligated to be with my mum and spend time at home. I can't go out too much, you know what i'm saying? Anyway Yes! Hanging out with friends is awesome, spending time at home is a dread but come to think about it, it's important to spend time with family. When you spend so much time outside, you forget the meaning of staying inn. So anyway, Shahnas's brother wedding on the 28th was another grand event. Although i don't know her brother but everything was nice and short! It was a lovely wedding. Spend a whole day with Sarah went roaming around for food at SS19 and just a nice coffee to end the day. Was out with Lei on both occasion, first one it was rush but when shopping instead nothing much but second time went for The Hobbit with her and catching up with Steve, that's all good. Spend a whole day with Christina too. Ate, and shopping at Pyramid, wishes it was longer. Spend also two occasions with Joel and Grace, it's really nice to talk and just spend time together, it's all good! Catching up with Tekyi was always great. Wilson, my man, watching The Hobbit with him. Ahh, all these memories man, the good stuff.
Anyway thats that, New Year. We went to my cousin place in Sunway Damansara. It was a great night I can say. First thing I went there, Ashley and Ryan were so damn hyper that night. I was sweating and just catching my breath trying to keep up with them. Not just the two of them, Bryan and Bernie as well. 4 kids man, 4 KIDS. Anyway, it was great night with great company. Everybody was having dinner together, spending time like it always have been. This is the kind of gatherings that i'm talking about really. I'm emphasising all these gathering far too many times but yes, it's what i come back here for. Kaima cooked the dinner has always been delicious. It was Peggy jie's birthday that day. I still remember there was a year where we used to celebrate on a hotel and see fireworks out from the balcony. That was pretty awesome. One time we were walking at Sunway Pyramid, that was awesome too. One time in HongKong, all of us families together, that was awesome too. This year was more like a mundane get around and everybody seems like it was more like a routine than a celebration. Only the fireworks makes it more special. Me and the kids were dancing and it was great fun. We were all watching movies and that was good. One thing is my cousin, he is barista. Shit, the coffee he makes are so nice! So that was fun. Mum bough wine as a birthday presents. So all of us had a glass of white wine and that was good! Oh the dinner, let me go into detail, we had crabs that was awesome really, best crab ever! Had this thai thing going on, where you're mixing all the things into a leaf. That was great too.
I thought I was going to elaborate a lot about New year, but that's about it actually. Maybe i'll talk about my resolutions.
Resolutions
It's strange really coming into a new year and not feeling like it's a new year. Everything seems to be just as normal as the last one. I guess good or bad things from last year, you can't just stop or escape or just not think about it. It goes through to the next year anyway. So what i'm trying to say is, it's not about how we want to just start afresh and forget about the past. We can't. We can only live through it and hopeful to get back up. I guess that's how it is. How life is. We can't escape and we have to learn how to accept. Things don't just go away like that, it has to go through us and it's our job to handle ourselves. I guess we cannot put our problems onto others or to expect people to solve it for us, we have to solve it for ourselves. We are our lives to live. We cannot live other peoples life. Even though how much we admire, how much we love them, we can't live their life. We are our own identity. So in this new year, what I expect myself is to better understand myself and to make myself better each day. I'm not saying that I'm going to be all selfish and just self-centred that I don't care about other people, my friends and family. I love them and I would do anything for them. But I have to learn how to say no. To be organise and to just know what is right, what I should and shouldn't do. From small until now, that's what our parents always say. To do what's right. I guess they speak from experience. I believe what our parents meant and say is right because they've been through it. It can be so direct sometimes but I find it that it's really true. Sometimes you have to experience it first to understand that it's true. So I guess we learn from our mistakes. That's a good thing.
Coming back for this 3 months. So many things are going through my mind. Things like how I should live myself, what happens if I do this or that, how do I treat myself and towards the family and friends, learn about work and how to manage my time and everything, my money, my food, my intake, everything from health to management. I just found out that I have so much to learn really. It's just so much that I'm scared sometimes. But one thing at a time, we have a lifetime to learn so much. That's why I need to learn to be patient. I want to stop my desperation, my addiction to this thing that have made me sinful since I was 8?9? I realised that it's bad and i'm determined to change, to be a better person. I want to learn and read the bible, get closer with God, I want to take up my piano and so that I can express myself in music, I want to watch movies and learn the art of reviewing and how to analyse films. My passion for movies is so great I just want to go to the next step. To learn how to be analytical and express it through YouTube like making videos and do all sorts of video I can think of. I want to be outgoing, to explore, to communicate, to make connections with friends, to spend more time out there to see the world, I want to be there to experience. 2014 looks so promising to me. So much more that I can use the time with. Just going to take each day as it comes and make the best out of it. AND YES! I want to keep myself so fit that no one can recognise me! I want to be healthy and fit and get my 6 packs! I AM DETERMINED!
I've been living with positivity and sometimes I can't stand it when people are being too negative. I think i've changed to that now. I guess it's a good thing. I hope I can influence people to be positive. Especially my mum, it's hard to convince my mum really. I'll try my best. I need to just manage everything in order. I want to start up a company, start u p a business, I want to do research on the things I find interesting. Ah, so many things that I can do. I just want to do it. I find myself greedy and just impatient, really. That's my only i can say weakness. I'm learning to become a better man each day. I hope by the end of 2014 I can say I have achieved the things that I want to achieve and not just sit back and do nothing. It's my last year of uni, everything is ending as soon as possible, there's not many times left for all of us friends to go and have a good time. Sometimes time just pass by so fast, only then you realise that you missed out a lot. Now that i'm working, I can see the difference, the different level of responsibilities. It's hard when you are working so it's best to cherish the moments while you still can. So, to be honest, I just want live life to the fullest, I am a really ambitious person but in that ambition, I say but I don't do, so I want to change to take more actions. In that ambition, I don't want to be greedy and selfish but focus on myself to be better each day so that I can one day say i'm where I want to be.
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