Thursday, May 7, 2015

To the person I don’t know.


Hey x,


Let me pick you up from work, let’s go to the gym together.
We shall go a restaurant nearby, eat our favourite food.
It may not be the most fancy of food but at least we are eating something we grown up eating.
Tomorrow, let’s try to get home early and cook ourselves some simple meal!
Or let’s wait till the weekend where we can just bake and eat all those food we bake!

The gym has a place to shower. We don’t have to waste the water at home.
Showered, eaten.
Let’s push ourselves together to get fit. Let’s do gym everyday. If not, at least 3 times a week?

Let’s say we catch a movie tonight if you’re not tired.

Let me give you 3 options:
1) Do you want to go home, lie down on the bed, and we shall just get ourselves filled with ice cream and catch up on our tv series?
2) Do you want go to the shopping mall, walk a little, maybe get something that you wanted to buy, and watch a movie? (we watched this, this and that, so we could watch that one)
3) Let’s just go home, turn on some music and sing.

Well, that movie we can just watch during the weekend, let’s catch up on that tv series.
Let me head over to the supermarket to get some ice cream.

I don’t know where you might work, I don’t know where you will be.
I may have my new car now, I love to drive, so I can fetch you if its in the same area!
Let’s share the car. You can use it. I can use it.
Oh you have your car too? Well, I guess we will just meet there at the mall? Or meet you at home?

Our house. Did we stay here? Or do we have our own separate house? I mean apartments. Well, I’m not really in that position where I have that much money to rent a house, let alone to buy one!
Do you stay near? Do you stay far? If you stay far, do I have to get through the jam to get you? It will be a lot easier if we stay in the same area.

We might be too young to stay together. Maybe in 5 years time. Let’s say its for now, you stay near me, do we get to go to each other’s house to stay over? This week I come your place, next week you come to my place.We will work things out, wouldn't we?


Wait when did we first meet again? Secondary school? Tuition? College? University? Work? (I highly doubt it). It’s great that we have so many things in common. The things we spend hours and hours talking till we sleep. Maybe that’s only for one night. The rest, we try to do things together, we learn, we communicate and we just blend with each other’s life so well.

I can’t believe I have someone like you, x.

How many dates did we have before we got together? Was it too rush? Were you waiting for me to say the words? Am I too lost to not know what to say? All those miscommunication before but yet now, we seem to do alright with communication.

Let’s plan a trip, x. Let’s go here, here and there. Let’s try the food here. Let’s get fat together (Mind you, we gym too okay? So don’t judge). Let’s meet up with these people that we haven’t seen for so long. Let me introduce you to this friend of mine that we’ve known each other years ago. Let’s go visit our parents this weekend. You go to yours and I go to mine. Wait, are we in the same town as well? Let’s drive down, get ready a playlist and let’s do crazy things in the car, laugh, record, sing our lungs out!

x, we do have the same taste, we have the same interest. Wow.
x, we don’t really have the same interest and we don’t really have the same taste. We argue a lot sometimes but that’s alright, I love how we are accepting each other by compromising ourselves to know one another more.

Let’s make sure we finish our work earlier so that we can do things together. Are you working? Are you still studying? Have you done your assignments? Let’s wait until you’re done and then we can do all these things together! Let me come to university and meet you! I bought you some things during lunch time, do remember to eat these okay? Let’s do something in the weekend.

Ah man, you have to finish work late? Well, we’ll skip gym for the days you are busy and let’s make a point to tell each other that we are either late or early so that we can go to the gym together, eat together. Do we spend a lot of time on the phone talking? I’m not really good at messaging. Maybe we can find our own little cute ways of contacting with each other? It keeps me interested to talk to you every single day. We don’t have boring conversations where we try hard to find a topic to talk about. Whenever someone comes out with a topic, we can just talk all night.

Also, when we communicate or if we are together right now, is our communication with each other clouded with words that fills up the space to talk? Or do we really mean it to each other? like I love you, I miss you, or just conventional love talk. How do I know how to communicate with you? I have a little self esteem problem here. Are you there to help me out? Do you understand me? Do I understand you?

Wait are you still in overseas or are you here in KL? Or you’re from a different city? Wow. It’s hard to meet up with you. Shall I come visit during the weekends? Sigh. How I wish we can be in the same place and doing the things that we can actually do together. I love that kind of life. But if that was you, I’ll always look forward to the weekend. So many things we can do together during that time. We can keep it interesting. Let’s make it this way. We won’t be busy for work or for other stuff during that weekend? Let’s spend time together, can we?

Wait am I being to controlling or should I stop? Especially depicting what you should do or shouldn’t do? Well I’m sorry, I should include what YOU should do as well. Clearly, I’m not mature to think that you have your own things to do too.

It’s all about perspective, isn’t it?

Well, if we were to compromise, I might be the one staying really far or you might be the one. Maybe you’re not even working yet and you still could be studying. Maybe you are working but you stay so far from me, I couldn’t reach you. Our timings would be so different then.

Anyway, I can’t do long distance. It’s gives me a hell lot of burden during the week! Well then how am I suppose to be myself if i’m always thinking about you during the weekdays and not focus on my work. Like the side of me is being distracted by you and just not being able to be physically be with you there. I wish I can but well, this situation that we are in, maybe we only be facing this for the next 3 years? Maybe less, maybe more. I’m not so sure about this but do you think we should continue if our circumstances are in this way? Because it could be really difficult, I wish it is much better than this.

In the end, we’re stuck in our own circumstances. I can wait, well, as long as we are able to be fully be together after those years being apart. I will wait.

To the person I don’t know.

There are many things that we can just speculate. There are many things that we can do together. So many things that we can experience together. But you can’t make the decision, what to do, where, when or how to do until you meet that somebody. I wish I have that somebody as close to me as possible and having that same interest, same compromise. It will be great but we can only have that ideal person that we want to meet in our heads, the person we might meet someday could be totally different and yet perfect at the same time.

People come to our lives in so many different and unexpected ways like how I have a deja-vu today which already told me where I was going to work, the things that I was doing and it was so extraordinary.When I snap back to think, I may have yet known where I was going.

I may have a dream before about you, x, but i’m not sure who will be you. God is centre of it all to know what is coming and what is His plans. I only live the life that He fulfills.

Till the day we meet, x.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Work.


That transition I've been anticipating.
That moment when I realised that it's all changed.

It's now 2 weeks in my full-time job and almost a month since I've gotten into the workforce. I don't think I'm still used to the working life. I'm still finding my ground and settling myself completely. It's tiring everyday coming back from work. I can't do work at home. It's been routinized even more now.

-Wake up, work, back from work, dinner, sleep and the next morning all over again.-

I guess this is how it works. I'm look forward to the weekends so much right now. I can't wait for Friday actually. I guess that's why people really say TGIF. Don't be mistaken that work is difficult or that the lifestyle is hard to accustom to. Work is great. I don't know about the others but at this moment, I really like how it all plays out.

TalentCorp is the company that I'm working at right now.

The things I'm learning.

The people I'm meeting.

The opportunities I'm getting.

The work that I'm expose to.

The knowledge I'm obtaining.

I'm really glad that I've taken this job. I was so hesitant all the way back when I was in Melbourne. It starts off with me not wanting to join this Apprentice Challenge because I felt like I let my team down. I didn't told the organizers that they wanted to go for the Apprentice Challenge and there was a miscommunication that led me be the only one that went for it. I wasn't happy. The speech was only meant to apologize and to give the same chance to my group as the one that I was given. I was hesitant to go up stage, I was hesitant to win. And in the end, I won. When I won, I was hesitant to grab the opportunity. I was hesitant to do this apprenticeship. Here I am got into the apprenticeship and here I am, I got a job position at this company.

I praise God for this. Grateful that I was able to walk these path that He has chosen for me. I prayed and prayed, and finally realised that this was His answer. His decisions, His plan, and glory to His name.

It's tough and it's really reallllly hectic. I need to learn things that uni didn't even provide me with. I had to learn how to be practical in which its a whole new level of things to learn. Social media, website, and advertising was a whole new experience. Live tweeting at events, knowing what to post, what to write on Facebook. Writing contents on website, developing, organising, managing the contents. Do fillings, understanding what emails to print, what emails that is important, how to write emails, how to take notes, minutes, WIP, contracts. What are the agencies that the company is working with, what are the positions each team is in. Who are the person in charge, who is the point of contact, what are the strategies, the message, the files, the people. What are the products, the initiatives, how does PR work, what media relations actually do, the marketing, HR, finance, the branding. Everything I had to learn in the expense of a month. It's a lot to take in. Hopefully, there's more to learn and I hope it won't stop.

I'll be here for 3 years and if I want to extend that's another 2 years. I'm waiting for God's calling, what are the next step is all in His hand. The thing right now is how do I balance my life. Car, accommodation, bills to pay, parking, phone, food, family, how to juggle everything and actually come to a routinized and planned calendar of things to do. How to be stable and make the best out of everything. How do I balance it all?

Hopefully, the next time I'm here. I have figure it all out :)

Friday, January 23, 2015

Moment of silence.

Different.
Changed.

That's what I want to feel about myself. I'm confident i'm not the one that wrote those post, have those thoughts, to have those perspectives and to have those views. I believe we change even it's a few hours ago or a season, it doesn't matter. But as time passes, we change by the things we learn, the things we encounter and certain realisation.

I like to believe that we are constantly changing and not stagnant to a specific place and time. I think the biggest change that I felt in these couple of months was that 2/3 weeks of completing my assignments. That month was pivotal to what I am today. I thank God for that. I think maturity comes with the realisation that you are a different person entirely, your views are changed to a certain degree that defies certain characteristics of yourself.

Moving out, saying goodbyes, dealing with personal problems or have I dealt with, selling sentiment value that i possessed for 4 years already. This transition has been really hard especially when everything is happening at the same time right now. It's difficult but I believe I can push through. It's great to have come out of this doing it on your own. it's like you've become independent, you've matured, you've learned. I believe so too.

I'm done with defining. I'm more with living.
I've learned that the present is THE moment. Not the past, not the future.

Hopefully, my career is all in place and I hope it will all turn out well. So afraid yet so confused, I have no idea whatsoever which company, which position I will be doing. I guess day by day, things sort of sort it out by itself.