Monday, July 22, 2013

I Don't Want To Regret Anymore.

Some things you just can't express. Not explain.

I felt that loneliness.
That hole in heart that needs to be filled.

I felt so thin whenever that feeling comes.
I don't know why it affects me so much.
Maybe it's the expectations that went too high.
Maybe it's the anxiousness of wanting to tell soon.
Maybe it's the rejection.

After that 4 year relationship, there will always be a puzzle that needs to be solved. There will always be a place for somebody to fill in. Since then, i needed company. Maybe we all need company. We all need help. It's just different with how others deal with this 'company'.

Some indulge in books, some indulge in sports, some in music and some with movies. Most are with people and without them, one would be sad or in the need for someone. For that, they will look and search till the very end, till they find someone to be their company. Friends, Girl/boyfriends, Family.

Whenever I hear the songs on the moments with you, whenever I see you, whenever people say your name, or that in text, Internet, I think of you. I think of how I wish I could tell you how I feel. I wish I could say I like you. I think of the things I wished I could have done. I think of the sad and frustrated things I know that you didn't know. It wasn't right. Everything wasn't right, that's why it didn't lead me to you. The group of friends. The moments shared. The conversations we had. Maybe the signs I'm reading are not the signs you're reading. Everything is just complicated.

The things you wish someone would understand and read the signs that was given but instead different signs are read and they do the same things to the person that they are interested in. It's sad when the one you're interested is not interested in you, vice versa.

I believe in order to move on, we have to be cruel, to let them to be happy is to know how to let go. I can't change what i can't change. I can only accept and let things come by naturally and wait. Patience is a really important value in our lives.

Some can be patient for all their life. Some can only be patient for 1 second. We all need patience in this fast and developing world. It's hard when you want things quickly. We are trained to do it now but we need to be discipline and wait for our opportunity to come.

It will come. That's why we need to seize every moment possible so that we don't regret. We need to make the best out of things. We need to put value in the things we do in our everyday life. We cannot regret. We cannot. I should not feel that regret anymore. It's time to move on and just take my chances at opportunities that is given.

But be patient. We cannot take advantage of everything we see. We need to evaluate ourselves first. To know our identities and our values first. Then, we can.