Even as the dog in the movie is dying, I am wondering
to myself why am I crying over this? Is it normal for a guy to cry over such a
story? I’ve never cried in a movie before, even watching an army of troops
being violently killed in the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan would not made me cry like this movie. Is it
because Marley & Me reminded me
of my first dog? I was eight. Goldie was a cross breed between a Golden
Retriever and a Labrador. She is really fluffy and always, she wants to be
patted. I fell in love with her as soon as my dad pulled her out of the box. I
literally carried her wherever I went. Sometimes, I would just want her to stay
in my room 24/7. I didn’t really know about responsibility, commitment or the
true meaning of love but one thing I knew for sure was that she was the cutest
thing ever.
The moment you receive your first pet, you feel the
excitement and eagerness of wanting to take care of it. I was carrying it
around like it was a toy. It was pure proudness and just addiction to the fact
that there is a puppy in my arms. Her name resembled what she looked like,
Gold-ie. Her hair is soft and silky. Whenever I caress her body, my fingers
slowly notice the fine strands of her fur and her body underneath as warm and
solid as another person’s body. She was a hyperactive dog who loved running
around. She would always waggle her tail asking to play or she would open her
mouth wide open with her tongue hanging loosely asking for food. That’s a
signature for every dog and for a first pet; it’s so mesmerising to play with.
As time goes by, I’ve changed. To make new friends in
school or pursuing my own hobby and interest like playing sports. My love for
my dog changed as I grew up. Come to think of it, it was a really sad life for
her. She was caged; never had the freedom to go outside her yard, always
chained because we never trained her, my family wouldn’t want to risk any
damage that she could do. She is really scared of thunderstorms, one day; she
just ripped off the whole mosquito net on the backdoor in the kitchen,
scratching and whining all night long. It comes to a point where nobody really
cares about her only to know when to feed her and when is time to shower. We
come to ignore what was once special. As for me, I grew up knowing other
things, fond of other interest like playing the piano or guitar, having new
best friends in school. It became worst when I bought my first Playstation console;
I drew more attention to the screen than to my dog. I would stay at home all
day and not even finding the time to walk her out. My Goldie became older,
harder to move, less active as she was and her fur starts to drop everywhere,
she became just another dog.
I was in year nine. Form 4 in Malaysia. Goldie was 9
years old that’s equivalent to 63 years old in human years. One day like any
other day, I wake up to the annoying sound of the alarm at 7 o’clock in the
morning, brushed my teeth, had a shower, put on my school uniform. Ate cereal,
as I would always eat for breakfast. Go to school from 8 till 2. Came back
knowing the first thing I would do is to look for Goldie and call her like I
usually do with a rhythm of whistle that has its own tune that the dog would
recognise whenever it hears its master’s calling. But she didn’t come quickly as
she is old now and I walked around the house looking for her. I became
suspicious of where she might be. I have an automatic gate to my house and
Goldie would usually dash out every time the gate opened. We fear of that
happening, so we usually would chain her up to the concrete pole of the house.
As I rushed towards my dad asking where is she, my heart and whole body just
went through this enormous feeling of goose bumps. My parents said they had sent
her to a farm to keep her there where she would enjoy her freedom till her last
dying days. I was in shock but I did believe what parents said. For weeks, they
have been talking about sending Goldie away. I just didn’t know it would be true.
I was in pain like emptiness at the heart with no blood to fill the void. I did
not fight nor did I question my parents why. I just accepted the result like it
was only a matter of time. Only then, I realise that I miss her.
A dog chained, and never had much freedom to be out in
the open, should I be feeling happy for her that she finally has freedom? Or
should I feel regret that I couldn’t say my last goodbye to my first pet that I
grew up with? I began to realise life is so short. You have to reach maturity
to know what is it like to commit and have the responsibility to love and care
for another being. It is so unfair towards Goldie because dogs don’t know this.
What they do know is when their master shows love; they will show their love
too, no matter what, every single day without any expectations, they give it
unconditionally. Watching Marley pass away in the end of the movie reminded me
of how I didn’t get to see Goldie since that day onwards. I wish I could have
given her more love even the simple things like walking her everyday, feeding her,
giving her a bath. Now that she’s gone, I regret that I have not done so. Maybe
this is how we get to learn life from a different perspective.
I guess the important thing is as Josh Grogan says in
the film, ‘A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. A
dog doesn’t care if you’re rich and poor, smart or dumb. Give them your heart
and they will give you theirs’.
